Self-destruct

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Do you ever just feel like everything you have achieved so far is utterly rubbish?  Its a dodgy place to be.  Sometimes I am looking through all of my stuff and suddenly I think to myself – what on earth are you doing Zara?  Where are you going with all of this?  I’m sure I knew once, but now it all seems a bit blurry. 

It is probably not the best idea to start deleting or chucking things out though, because then your apparent lack of achievement will become a reality.  This morning I was in the process of doing exactly this, but luckily I stopped myself before too much damage was done.  Now I am left with the unnerving knowledge of the fact that everything of mine is just sitting there online, not doing an awful lot, and in desperate need of organisation.  For a virgo this thought can be consuming to say the least.

I just need to figure it all out.  Or more to the point, I need to figure myself out and start focussing on fewer things.  I have a horrible feeling that my creativity is being diluted by my overwhelming need to define myself.  Too many projects are simply going nowhere, as usual.  It is like I think I am an octupus, when really I’m just a human being with a passion for ink-related activities. 

I guess I must force myself to do the unthinkable – put everything on hold, pick one realistic project, focus and complete it.  Too much ambition has the opposite effect it seems.

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